What it means to be a friend…as a guy and a girl

So, I was listening to the radio and this interviewer asks Chelsea Handler, “If you weren’t friends with Jennifer Anniston, would you like Angelina Jolie?” She replies, “No, I don’t like her.” The interviewer then says, “Well, have you even met her?” “No, but I still don’t like her. It has nothing to do with Jennifer, I can just tell she’s not a girl’s girl and I like girl girls so I know I don’t like her,” Handler replies.

This got me thinking of what it means to be a “girl’s girl” Vs. a “guy’s girl.” I’m simply talking about the type of friend a girl can be. I know I’m a guy’s girl. For example, I can’t stand girls and their unnecessary drama and I have more guy friends than girl friends. A guy’s girl can hang out with a group of guy’s or just one guy (as a girl’s girl would do with girls) and “be one of the guys;” no pressure to bone every single one of them, (or can bone all of them, but still remain totally platonic and drama free), just relax, lay low, and no pressure to be all girly and someone that you’re not.

Now a girl’s girl is quite different. This type of girl friend will most likely talk behind your back (while the guy’s girl has no problem saying that thing to your face), and, I don’t know, sit around and gossip all day while painting each other’s ugly toenails? Whatever the those chicks do. This type of friend is extremely needy and needs to hang out every couple of days or you guys aren’t considered friends anymore (unlike the guy’s girl who will hang out whenever she has the time, may be once every month, but we are still friends).

Now let’s talk about a Guy’s Guy Vs. a Girl’s Guy. (WARNING: THIS MAY BE TOO FUNNY). A guy’s guy is all about testosterone PERIOD. These guys get ripped together at the gym and probably also talk behind your back (while the girl’s guy is all about getting in touch with his over sensitive self and happy to share his feelings). A guy’s guy will not open doors for you, tell you how he feels (because it’s gay), and will make you believe chivalry is far dead.

Now let’s shift a little bit to the Girl’s Guy. This guy is all about getting in touch with his feminine side and showing his feelings (all over the place). He’s a HOT MESS.
While he is all about chivalry, it may be a little too overwhelming because let’s face it girls, we like BADASSES and this friend, well he’s mister (too) nice guy. Some may even confuse this friend as gay, but he’s just an over-sensitized, straight guy. This friend doesn’t mind being stuck in the “friend zone” because he’s just glad he gets to be in your presence (it’s most likely the girl is the hot one in this friendship).

Well there you have it! A glimpse of what these terms mean (I bet you’re classifying yourself into one of these groups right meow!)…Cheers until next time☺

Down in the Dumps

 

Now let me tell you about a funny thing called: LOVE. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, but when it’s bad it’s excruciatingly painful, right? Love is a beautiful thing, but when it’s taken for granted we see the bitterness in it all: in the topic and, even worse, ourselves. How can something be so beautiful one minute and then all of a sudden be the worst thing that ever happened to us? It’s the roller coaster: It’s starts out as a thrill as you reach the apex, and then after the “honeymoon stage,” it all just goes downhill from there, until you’re at the end of the ride. That’s why it is against our human biology to be monogamous; we can’t stay on one ride for too long. People say “life makes love look hard,” but as we have seen in personal experiences it’s obviously vice versa, “love makes life look hard.” Love takes a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice to make it work. So, I say it’s time to be optimistic about breakups versus pessimistic.

If you are one of those amazing women that are willing to do anything and everything to keep the one you love and make those sacrifices, this is for you. You know why? Because we are the ones that are underappreciated and taken for granted by the male species. So, from now on think of a breakup as THEIR loss. Think of it as they never deserved you to begin with. Think of it as just another chapter closed in your life and the book goes on. Think of it as helping you find someone better that will come along (and he will). This needs to be the optimistic mindset of someone who is battling a breakup, especially someone who knows they deserve way better than what they have been receiving in relationships.

So, it’s time ladies to be the heartbreakERS versus the heartbreakEES. Let’s quit being down in the dumps (heartbroken) after a breakup and just start breaking some hearts of our own. Let’s take a stand and make every guy who lost us, make him wish he hadn’t. Tolkien says, “Not all who wander are lost,” and I say, “Not all of the fragile are broken.” What we mean is feel free to live your life by your own means now, this doesn’t mean you are lost, this means you are allowing yourself to grow in an unconfined space; take the time after your breakups to REFIND or REFINE your soul and just take the time for YOU. Focus on where YOUR life is going, because now you have the freedom to. And the latter part (that I added on to that quote) is most important; we are all fragile in our own ways and express our emotions in our own time frame, but this doesn’t mean we are broken. We don’t need to be fixed, we need to be loved…really loved. And this doesn’t necessarily mean automatically start finding a companion who can truly love you, but rather looking at the people right in front of you who have been there for you all along (friends, family, etc.) and love you unconditionally for who you already are.

Don’t trust when people say, “Love comes to you,” because the truth is, no it doesn’t. The only way you are going to find the love you are looking for is if you go out and get it yourself. Enough with this patience is key shit, because how long have we been waiting ladies for a decent guy to come along? Yeah, that’s right an eternity it seems like. Sometimes love is found in the most hopeless places and helpless stages of our lives, so don’t give up. But don’t wait for a “SOULMATE” to come along either because another evident truth, there is like 2% more men in the world than women (not even taking into consideration the gays and lesbians). So my point is don’t settle, but don’t expect to find someone to spend the rest of your life with either. Focus on the present and the future will have its way of working itself out. Enjoy life and everything it has to offer. Stay out of the dumps because it truly smells in there. And most importantly, JUST BE HAPPY…cheers until next time:)

Confidential

When I started this blog I figured I had to make it funny or else no one would enjoy my writing, but someone very close to me made me realize I don’t have to hide the soul of my writing by fabricating it with profanity, humor, etc.
So with that said, I want to try something new with this piece starting off with these words: Thrive to accomplish every dream as if you knew you would never fail. Don’t be afraid to take those chances that are deemed necessary to your very soul and being. Always stick to who you are because there is no purpose being anyone else. I have never been afraid to chase whatever I needed to at the moment to fulfill my dreams and neither should you. All I know is how to be me and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Thoreau once said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined,” because it’s never too late to be everything you ever wanted of yourself. Sure life happens and dreams change, but so what? It’s never too late to change your path. Don’t settle for one thing when you could be anything. Everything worth learning in life can’t be learned on a chalkboard so stop searching for answers in a confined space. Go out in the world and find what’s been missing in your life and cherish it until something better comes along.
Sometimes we lose ourselves, but that’s okay because we will always have a piece of our youth that says we have the rest of our lives to find ourselves again. Every breath is a second chance, so take chances. Find beauty in every moment and live that life you have always imagined for YOU. True beauty is reflected in our souls, so let yours shine through every word you say, every piece you write…cheers until next time:)

Some People Never Fully Develop Their Prefrontal Cortex…

What is this complex anatomical term you ask? It is the “CEO of the brain.” This particular brain region is responsible for complex cognitive analysis and abstract thought and the moderation of “correct” behavior in social situations. In other words, this part of your frontal lobe orchestrates your thoughts and actions to achieve some kind of goal in a given situation. This part of the brain doesn’t maturely develop until about age 25 (for women, usually never for men).

Let me give you a very current example from my very own crazy dating life. So, I’m sitting with this (supposedly matured prefrontal cortex) 26-year-old (if that was his real age) in a hot tub when his dad joins us (yes why is your dad in here in the first place and 2nd not a very well orchestrated action to get to the goal, right?) Anyways, his dad starts asking me normal questions (like any normal damn parent would) and out of normal respect and “correct behavior” I made eye contact and answered his questions appropriately.

When his dad leaves, the guy gets shady quiet and I ask what’s wrong. He shrugs, so I give him a little time to recuperate his rattled underdeveloped thoughts and step out of the hot tub. 5-10 minutes later, I ask what’s wrong again and still no answer (I’m so annoyed at this point). I step back in and he finally answers (or shouts rather), “What’s wrong?! What’s wrong?! (whoa, bipolar alert) What’s wrong is that you looked my dad in the eyes more tonight than you have looked in mine all damn day!” Whoa buddy, so you’re basically accusing me of hitting on your nasty, old dad (that’s the first “incorrect behavior”).

Then I say, “WHAT? Are you being serious?” (I thought this was a joke). He says, “yea, I’m serious that’s fucking weird!” (The only thing weird here dude is your lame ass, disgusting undeveloped accusation). He goes on (like a broken record), “it’s weird, it’s weird, it’s weird.” (Yes, I heard you). He then blabbers, “Yea so you can just go home! Go find some rich lawyer at the Tavern!” (Wow, now calling me a gold digger, go find a job asshole!). “You don’t even know me!” And I walk the hell out! Geez, where do I find these lame ass goobers?
Now, everything this douchebag has done (or lied about rather) up until this moment, just puts that yummy frosting on the cake. For example, we had a class together and on the midterm I got a B-. He said he got a B- too (btw I’m a communication major and he’s in pre-law which the class is MEDIA LAW; I’ve been to class like 5 times and still got the same grade as you). He asked what my number grade was and I said a 70, he said 71 (the questions were worth 2 points each you fool, so that’s impossible!).

Moving on. He goes on and on about some high tech job (he miraculously got the day we hung out) about some GPS tracking device and shit (dude you still know you have a year left in college right?). We all know you be jobless, no need to lie. Let’s see what else I can pull out of my magic hat.

At dinner, (let me remind you he’s only 26) he sniffs the Pinot Noir and twirls the wine around (I’m assuming to check the quality or some weird shit like that). He then says how delicious it is, thinking he’s showing off as some kind of wine expert when he doesn’t know the entire bottle of wine costs like 6 bucks! Ha, I’m laughing out loud right now! You can’t get any douchier than that (that’s some complex thinking right there…NOT! Well maybe in douchery). Dude you’re not fooling anyone here.

When a 26-year old makes the comparison from “Good Will Hunting,” (saying I’m the rich “princess” and he’s the broke guy from the tracks) first of all that’s “incorrect.” I am not some gold digger brat (once again); I’ve been working since I was 16, but I’m not denying you’re the broke guy (at least Matt Damon was a genius with a job in that movie so all around bad comparison). Oh, but wait that’s not what he meant my bad. Damn, what was the next unbelievably cheesy line this douchebag tried to play me with? Oh, that’s right he meant, “I deserve the world.” (Barf in a 15 L garbage bag). What’s up with this lame shit? I tell you what’s up. Girls actually eat this shit on a stick up! Well you’ve picked the wrong girl to mess with; I’ve been around the block once or twice and you’re so full of shit I can smell you a mile away (let’s just say I’m a pro with pathological liars).

Oh and let’s not forget about the car thing. So he asks me to pick him up because his “very nice Durango” isn’t running right, but by all means it’s a nice car. When I drop him back off, his dad is in one of the two parking spaces each tenant is allotted (oh yea he lives with his dad in an apartment). I look next to his dad’s car and it’s a beat up Jeep. So, 1st you lie about the kind of car you drive and 2nd it’s probably not the car that’s the problem, but the fact (since you have no job) you have no funds for your means of transportation (gas). No wonder that shit isn’t running right.

All right, I’ve had enough of this. But as you can see in (most if not all) men, their prefrontal cortex’s are clearly not developed by age 25. Lesson learned guys: if you are embarrassed about your financial situation, change it; get a damn job, any job. Don’t make up a bunch of stuff to make yourself look better than you really are because you will get caught and just look like a plain idiot. That’s an exhausting wrap…cheers until next time☺

To be stood up or not to be stood up…

Let me start off by saying, I have NEVER been stood up in my life and just in the past week it has happened to me TWICE. I have went against my own advice and have recently took a part in online dating website, i.e. Plenty of Fish and Tinder. Specifically from Plenty of Fish, over the weekend I found one guy I was interested in, after being on the site for a couple of months now. I decided to set up a date and actually went to go meet this person at a bar. He called me, not texted, but called me to personally let me know he was going to be late, but is not canceling. So, of course, I went to the bar which was closed (this should have been the first and only sign that this was a bad idea). I texted him that the bar was closed and that we could just meet at the one next door which was opened. He said that was fine and that he would be there as soon as possible and tells me to order two shots of tequila (which he would pay for when he got there). About an hour rolls by, and he is still a no-show, so the guy next to me at the bar offers to take shots with me and I say why not since I have two untouched ones sitting in front of me. I talk with this random guy and take shots with him for like two hours and finally text the no-show again asking if he was still coming-no response. I was so disappointed and annoyed that this guy had the audacity to do this to someone like me let alone anyone. I wanted to specifically hear from the guys on this one: have you ever stood anyone up and, if you have, what was the motive/driving force behind this jerk off move???  And word to the wise, never stand up a beautiful lady because you’ll just end up settling for worse.  Cheers until next time:)